John Polonia, Mark Polonia
1998
1998
It’s the Holidays somewhere in deepest darkest Pennsylvania
and Eric (Mark Polonia) is doing his best to provide a good Christmas for his
family. Eric’s boss at the box factory
sucks, winter sucks, his family sucks and then some tiny stupid looking aliens
show up to make it all suck some more. The aliens set about eating priests and
dogs but overstep their bounds when they attack Santa Claus on route to deliver
some presents. Santa crashes into Eric’s front yard and after being rescued, he produces a laser gun from out of nowhere to zap some aliens' asses back to
where ever they came from.
Near the beginning of the movie there's an attempt to explain what
happened in ‘Feeders’ (1996) but seeing as that one ended in such a way that
making a sequel should have been very difficult, I’m not sure that connecting
the two movies was a wise choice. Then
again there probably isn't a moment in this film where you couldn't say, “I don’t
think that was a wise choice.”
Yet, how can ninety minutes of Casio keyboard music, Styrofoam alien puppets, amateur thespians and narrative mistakes make for a magical Christmas movie experience? I don’t know either, but it must some kind of Christmas miracle. The Polonia Brothers are certainly an acquired taste, but if you can look past all the technical faults (nothing short of Herculean task, I assure you) you see a couple of people having a blast creating a film. You can also just sit and enjoy it as an ultra-ridiculous piece of shot on video trash where each terrible scene cascades into the next creating an unstoppable giant snowball of z-grade film making.
Yet, how can ninety minutes of Casio keyboard music, Styrofoam alien puppets, amateur thespians and narrative mistakes make for a magical Christmas movie experience? I don’t know either, but it must some kind of Christmas miracle. The Polonia Brothers are certainly an acquired taste, but if you can look past all the technical faults (nothing short of Herculean task, I assure you) you see a couple of people having a blast creating a film. You can also just sit and enjoy it as an ultra-ridiculous piece of shot on video trash where each terrible scene cascades into the next creating an unstoppable giant snowball of z-grade film making.
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