Friday, November 15, 2019

Nacho Chihuahua

Nacho Chihuahua
Jim McCullough, Sr

The world of talking dog movies, no-budget shot-on-video (SOV) shelf fillers, and mockbuster rip-offs collide in the movie, Nacho Chihuahua. Wait, is it actually a movie? It only runs thirty-five minutes long, and I would hesitate to say it has an actual plot. It also has Jared Watson and Stacey Wallace performing some pretty racist accents as the dogs, Nacho and Nina. So, this not a movie you can enjoy in the traditional sense, it is far too cheap and poorly made for that. This is a movie you watch to see a complete mess unfold in front of you. In the end, you might appreciate it, should that kind of thing appeal to you.

It appeals to me.

One look at the cover and it is apparent that this movie was designed as a cheaply made talking animal movie that would hook unsuspecting parents and kids into thinking they were renting a Disney movie or at the very least something Disney-esque enough to keep the kids quiet for ninety… *checks notes*  I mean thirty-five minutes. Sure the dogs are cute and in general kids' standards are low, but I can’t imagine Nacho Chihuahua would hold even the dullest child’s attention for very long.

"Yo quiero una mejor pelicula."
Nacho Chihuahua was also created as a way to cash in on the then-popular Taco Bell dog known for saying, "¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!" Hence the atrocious faux-Mexican accents and notorious moments like Chip (or is it Nacho? The film seems confused on this issue) only eating dog food if it includes a tortilla and a jalapeno. There is also a whole mountain of white people trying to use Mexican stereotypes. There is a musical number about half-way through called, “Don’t Cry for Maria, El Nina” which is as wonderfully terrible as you can imagine. This short film simultaneously appalls and delights with its incompetence.

Speaking of incompetence, the story consists of Nacho (Chip?) desiring to go back to South of the Border, no not Mexico the country but a real (racist) theme park in South Carolina where apparently they tell kids that possums are actually giant rats and you can just grab a chihuahua out of an open box and take it home. Chip's (Nacho's?) adventures take him and his girlfriend Nina around town but ultimately the story just gives up at the thirty-one-minute mark and has both dogs find their owners, never even getting close to their destination. The whole thing just kind of ends with a shrug.

If the credits of Nacho Chihuahua are to be believed this was directed by Jim McCullough, Sr. the man responsible for Mountaintop Motel Massacre (1983), The Aurora Encounter (1986), and Video Murders (1988). Those movies are not spectacular but they are competently directed. There’s only so much you can do with two chihuahuas and a package of hotdogs to make them go where you want, but McCullough worked with what he had, resulting in a movie that at least has some recognizable images. It’s not much but Nacho Chihuahua sets the bar very low.

When the best thing in a movie is a random monkey you've got problems.
In the end, it’s fun? I think? I have an affinity for really awful talking animal movies and there is something delightful about watching this trashy attempt to cash in on larger trends flail around. There is a kind of affable hucksterism here that will be perfected in places like The Asylum, but it also retrains its homemade SOV roots.

This review wouldn't be possible without the work done over at So give it a look and you should definitely pick up your copy.

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