Friday, December 27, 2019

Crocodile Fury

Crocodile Fury
Godfrey Ho

Godfrey Ho might be most well-known for his dozens and dozens of cheaply made ninja movies created via a Frankenstein stitch-up of footage from different sources, but ninja movies weren’t his only output. Along with non-ninja war movies, straight-up crime films, he also produced a couple of animated features and… whatever the hell Crocodile Fury is supposed to be. Out of the 148 movies that he directed, or more accurately that we know he directed (He used a lot of other names), Crocodile Fury might just be the strangest. Not a small declaration in a world where Robo Vampire (1988) exists.

I see someone dressed themself today.
This is my interpretation of the plot, but as with most Godfrey Ho creations, it is very subjective. A small village faces a series of vicious crocodile attacks. These aren’t just any old crocodile attacks though, they are in fact being perpetrated by Cooper, the master of a race of spirits who can transform into crocodiles. Cooper is working with Monica, an evil witch with an army of zombies and hopping vampires. Only Jack a good crocodile spirt can hope to stop the massacre.

The crocodiles are the stars of this film and well they should be, the props are ludicrously monstrous. They look like a child’s idea of what a crocodile might be. They aren’t content with just grabbing people (and the occasional baby) out of the water, no these beasts launch up to the top of trees and also fly through the air to scoop up unsuspecting people, they are in short the greatest cinematic crocodiles ever created by mortal humans.

"Nobody here but us plants."
Since this is a Godfrey Ho joint, he might not include ninjas but he is sure as hell is going to throw in some hopping vampires. The hopping vampires aren’t nearly as fun as the crocodiles, but their boss, Monica does have some stellar moments when waving her arms around and chanting, “Hubba hubba hubba” to summon them. The Monica subplot is a bit of drag, but the climax in which she transforms into a clawed beast and then just gets arrested like any other criminal must be seen to be believed.

Many Godfrey Ho movies offer a few fleeting moments of fun, but they are usually sandwiched by a dull crime film or some other less interesting movie that he picked up for cheap. Crocodile Fury never suffers this issue. The entire crocodile plot offers incredibly strange moments colliding into one another, and while the hopping vampire b-plot might not be as over the top, it still manages to offer up some moments of fun.

What crocodile movie doesn't nee hopping vampires barfing up fish?
If anything the fevered pace and overwrought drama of Crocodile Fury eventually begins to wear out its welcome. This film is exhausting and I was glad when it reached its abrupt conclusion. Despite all of that, this is probably the most entertaining Godfrey Ho movie I have seen to date, It is the perfect blend of ambitious and deeply silly.

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